ASHLEIGH x TONY
“Today is perfect. Perfect.”
Corey—my friend and second camera operator—came up to me to say that roughly once an hour. He was right. It was as close as I’ve ever seen a wedding be to perfect; for Ashleigh, for Tony, for their families, their friends, and even us.
Prep was relaxed and full of heartfelt moments. Photography—lead by the incredible Penny Ralene; who took all of these amazing photos—was an editorial delight, with plenty of candid documentary moments between setups. The ceremony was as dynamic as the couple, with clear nods to their love for the arts, great food, their people, and—of course—one another.
By toasts, I’d actually begun to stress myself out because things felt like they were going too well, but those went great too. Then, the formal dances were emotional and beautiful, the open dancing was electric, and the sparkler sendoff outside War Memorial’s Alger House capped the night in a cathartic and wild way that both summarized and punctuated the day perfectly.
Prep
You can usually call the tone of a wedding day within 10 seconds of walking into prep. How you’re received in that moment is how you’ll be received all day, and I was already feeling the love before Ashleigh changed into her dress. The vibe was relaxed and fun, Lana Del Rey was playing–bonus points; I love her–and everyone said hi to me before I even had a chance to. Polaroids from the morning, signage from the rehearsal party, goodie bags with friends’ names on them, and water bottles littered the central table.
And there was Ashleigh, all smiles with a mimosa in hand while her stylist and matron of honor, Nahee, put the finishing touches on her hair. Her sisters were there, but still: there was a sisterly energy in the room. The conversations were all positive, and there was a genuine enthusiasm throughout the group; a cohesiveness that I’d discover to be a central theme of the entire day.
Ashleigh was now in her dress, and we had some fun getting portraits. I was informed that Tony was in his tux, and looking like James Bond–a nod that would become sort of literal a few hours later. I’d meet two more dapper gentlemen at this point too: Ashleigh’s twin brother Austin, and her dad. Austin stopped by to grab the boutonnieres–a wedding planner’s dream–and Ashleigh’s dad was patiently waiting to be summoned to see his daughter in her dress. He had a quiet regality, emphasized by his bold black and red tux, complete with a pocket watch and chain. I mean, come on. Not just anyone can pull that off, but he–and Tony–did so effortlessly. I mic’d him up, and asked him how he was feeling. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it was polite, and he was excited to see Ashleigh. These little moments are delicate. I try to be supportive, but not too memorable. It’s a precious memory being woven in real time, and its integrity is partially in my hands. He doesn’t need to remember me; I need to remember him.
FIRST LOOKS
Moments later, we had Ashleigh’s parents positioned in the suite looking out the window at the Detroit skyline. Ashleigh moved into position, they turned, and unsurprisingly they were moved to tears. Ashleigh really did look beautiful, and while she’s objectively gorgeous, she’s got a sparkle in her eyes that I think comes from being a great person, raised by and with great people, who spends her time with great people too. I drop this compliment here because there was something else waiting for her parents when they turned: another dress, slightly different, but still unmistakably her mom’s wedding dress.
I grew up in the 90s, and we had these things called infomercials. They’d follow a predictable format, framing the offer as highly valuable, only to sweeten the deal every few minutes, saying “...but wait, there’s more!” and I can’t help but think that’s how Ashleigh’s parents felt, because it wasn’t just her in her wedding dress. It wasn’t just her mom’s wedding dress on the mannequin next to her. There was a custom photo album from Ashleigh’s photoshoot with Penny months earlier.
I could feel the gravity of the emotions. A wave of some of the most powerful and joyful memories from their wedding day was crashing into the new ones being made in real time. Her parents were seeing their daughter in her wedding dress while combing through the pages of the album, seeing the dress from decades earlier reimagined and now being worn by someone deeply familiar, and deeply loved, but different. It is in these moments, where I am doing my best impression of a statue, that I cannot help but hope that I have the privilege of a moment like that with Ellie one day. I should probably go make sure Jess’s dress is accounted for.
After we did some photos with Ashleigh’s family, it was time for the big first look with Tony. First looks are funny on the vendor side. We put a comical amount of energy into ensuring the groom doesn’t see the bride until the exact second they’re supposed to. We’ll call, make sure they’re not by elevators where we’re heading, we’ll have people hide behind pillars and around corners. It’s silly really. I bring this up because the second unit (I’m calling it that because it’s the term they use in movie production, but I’m just talking about Corey and Meghan) realized the hallway we were in had a mirror that would show Tony everything happening as we positioned Ashleigh behind him. Thankfully, Tony has eyelids so we just trusted him not to ruin his surprise.
They didn’t say a ton, but what I loved was the understated joy I could see in Tony’s eyes when he saw Ashleigh. It’s not usually the big moments that give away just how much someone loves another person. It’s moments like this; quiet, intimate, and sincere.
We had a lot of time for photos, which is great. I don’t mind when it’s more broken up either. There are advantages with both setups. In this case, we snuck out to the mural across the street from The Godfrey before we headed out. It provided a great modern splash of color before we headed to the stately War Memorial in Grosse Pointe.
I’m just going to say it: The War Memorial is my favorite venue. It’s a stunning Italian mansion (called The Alger House) with a new contemporary expansion (The Fred M. Alger Center) that was built in 2022. The expansion is polarizing in the wedding community. I love it, and have only known it in its current form. I love the juxtaposition of old and new. Weddings are a lot of that too, aren’t they? We can march forward and innovate but it’s also important to remember our roots, and the sacrifices that were made for us to have that privilege, even if it’s often equal amounts responsibility.
THE WAR
MEMORIAL
Speaking of sacrifices, it’s not called The War Memorial for nothing. During World War II, thousands of Grosse Pointe residents went off to fight, and 126 made the ultimate sacrifice. After the war, the city wanted some kind of memorial for veterans, and Marion Alger donated the estate under the condition that it be much more than just a memorial. Fast forward to today and I think she’d be pleased. It’s a magical place, and in many ways one of the centers of the community. The sculpture, Les Braves II, which overlooks the yard and is backed by Lake St. Claire is also stunning, and if you’re wondering why it’s the 2nd, it’s because the original–which it is incredibly similar to–is on Omaha Beach in Normandy, France.
So, yes, I think it’s gorgeous. I also love what it stands for, and remembers. As the son of two veterans, the great grandson to a WWII veteran, and someone who simply feels deep gratitude for those who gave up their freedom to fight for mine, let alone give up their lives, it carries another layer of meaning. To top it all off, their staff are wonderful to work with. The parking is great too.
PHOTOGRAPHY
Come on back folks. We’re still getting Ashleigh & Tony married.
Once we arrived at The War Memorial, Penny started wrangling the wedding party in the library, which is located in The Alger House. It’s as stately as it gets, with beautiful millwork, priceless paintings, gigantic natural fireplaces, books–of course, and a piano that I will play one day once I’ve built enough good standing with them for it to not get me exiled. I might be there now, but we’ll give it another year.
The men wore classic black tuxedos, while Tony opted for a white jacket. Ashleigh was of course in white, and the ladies each wore a bold, bright color that looked great on each of them, and when they were together, looked absolutely incredible. They each carried a single flower–don’t ask me what kind; this ain’t that kind of blog, kid–and while there was a matching flower for each dress color, they mixed them up in a way that was complimentary. I love little details like that. The day was riddled with those little touches.
Penny had them posed wonderfully. I’m telling you, it’s not as easy as it looks. There must be balance, but there cannot be perfect symmetry. It’s not a team photo. It must look intentional, but not too much. You have to spread people out, but you can’t just alternate them back and forth. It must look…intentionally random. I think we–and by we, I mean Penny because I was talking with Tony’s parents because staying out of the way is the best thing I could do here–did a great job. Yes, I like dashes–and going on tangents–and coming back to the topic. I was a big Poe reader in high school so blame him. Anyway, the photos and video footage speak for themselves. Penny managed to make them look great, allowed their coolness–and they were all very cool–to shine through, and juxtaposed them against a historic backdrop that just…worked. Kinda like the War Memorial itself. Ey! I should write that down.
Once we got some big ensemble shots, we split up. Usually, I’ll have Corey get shots of the guys while I get shots with the gals, and that’s what we did here. Eventually, we converged and things organically evolved into a nice little shoot with Ashleigh and Tony, with their friends hanging out in the wings, chatting amongst themselves and cheering them on as they twirled, kissed, and giggled all the nerves away before the ceremony. Almost all the nerves.
There were so many moments on A&T’s wedding day that made me think “These are my people”. Perhaps the epitome of these examples was when “Colorblind” by Counting Crows started playing to open their wedding ceremony. I listened to that song hundreds of times in my high school years.
I had my theories about why they chose it, but I never did ask them…until today. I asked Ashleigh why she chose a song that–while beautiful–is at least melancholy, if not what most would interpret as depressing; a song about depression even.
“For me the song is about someone being stripped down to a raw and honest state, and feeling overwhelmed, guarded, etc. And as I was looking through countless songs for our wedding, I kept singing the line: "I am ready, I am ready, I am fine" as if I needed the reminder. We arrived that day honest and vulnerable. So I thought it was a good way to start off the ceremony. It felt like a deep breath before we stepped into this next chapter together.”
“I thought of it as we are now "unfolding" and becoming fully open with each other. The weight and heaviness of anything we were carrying inside no longer had to stay hidden.”
“Songs are so great for things like that. This song originally was about loneliness. Then it became about sharing my coffee and eggs with someone.”
— Ashleigh
I call this “emotional judo.” A Google search would yield results that say, unanimously, that this is a deeply depressing song. But through at least one lens–Ashleigh’s lens–it is a cathartic announcement that they are about to bare their souls to one another in front of their most special people, and commit themselves to one another forever.
This may be the, or at least one of the reasons I feel so drawn to weddings. They are emotional lighthouses in the dark sea of detached and guarded behavior we so regularly endure and perpetrate on one another outside of our inner circle. Like a supernova, their light lingers long after the event, like right now, as I sit at my desk six months later; still affected, still changing from having witnessed it. This is the gift of weddings for those of us who are so privileged to witness them regularly.
If aliens visited earth and tasked me with proving to them we shouldn’t be smote, I’d take them to a wedding.
THE CEREMONY
Colorblind had its moment, Tony’s parents had a seat, and Ashleigh’s close family made their way to join them in the front row. Then, another unmistakable melody began to play: the 007 theme. The groomsmen strutted down the aisle, one by one, like international spies, and–again–it just…worked. It was absolutely cool, and added a moment of levity; something the guys generally excel at on a wedding day.
One could argue that the perfect segue from that to Tony’s entrance would be “Feeling Good” by Michael Bublé, and boy are you not gonna believe this. The man is already cool as hell. He could’ve walked down the aisle to clown music and made it cool, but no. We all know the song, and we all know the moment it breaks loose. Tony exited the mansion and stood atop the steps that lead down to the lawn where we were all seated. Everyone craned their necks all the way to see him standing, poised and regal. A few people laughed, likely unsurprised by the waves of aura and rizz emanating from him. Also, I don’t know what the kids are saying these days. My clients get younger every year so if that was cringe just know it was supposed to be. Please don’t let that be why you don’t hire me because I’ve got kids to feed.
Ok, Tony. Michael Bublé. Steps. And then, he starts walking down the steps just as Michael and the band hit us with “...goooooooooooood.” As God is my witness, that was the coolest I’ve ever seen anyone be, and I’ve seen Prince’s Super Bowl performance. Tony was met with cheers, and he let a grin or two slip on his way to the altar.
As Tony settled in, the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle to another gorgeous song: “All of Me” by John Legend. Everyone was in position, and there were only two people missing: Ashleigh and her dad. Slowly, the unmistakable strings of “At Last!” by the incredible Etta James faded in. It’s classic, it’s beautiful, it’s iconic, and it fit so well with the setting and the tone that was set by the music they’d chosen leading up to it. Ashleigh and her dad had a moment atop the stairs as everyone smiled and took in the grandeur of the moment. Then, slowly, she descended the stairs, and made her way down the aisle with her dad.
We always make sure to get a closeup of the receiving partner’s reaction as their soon to be spouse makes their way down the aisle. Tony didn’t cry, but his face said it all. Just like with his first look with Ashleigh, seeing her walk toward him, even after spending the last few hours with her, it was clear that he knew the gravity and the profundity of the moment, and that there were zero regrets or second thoughts about anything. He was about to marry his best friend.
As Ashleigh and her dad made it to the end of the aisle, her mom joined them, and met Tony with hugs and tears. As a videographer, there is a very specific phenomenon that usually occurs here. I haven’t coined a term for it yet, but for now I’ll call it ‘hug distortion’. Inevitably, the groom will hug his soon-to-be father-in-law, and virtually every time, the father of the bride will say something to the effect of “Take care of her.” choked up and teary eyed, and somehow, despite the lapel microphone being sandwiched between these two men’s chests, it is always so loud. Distorted? Muffled? Yes. But I’ve come to love that over the years. The poor audio quality is just the mark of a great hug! Hug distortion. Excellent hug distortion here.
Ashleigh & Tony settled in, and their officiant got things started with some beautiful things they’d each told her about the other, and then she moved into a short story of how they came to be. Then came the vows. There was a quality to the whole ceremony, but mainly the vows, that I’d describe as gentle. There was also a wonderful mix of earnestness and silliness, with funny anecdotes I don’t think many others would’ve shared for fear of them being too unimportant for a wedding ceremony, but they worked perfectly here. Ashleigh’s mom ended her toast–and my wedding film–with a line that helps me understand why they might’ve chosen to include these small stories. “Happily ever after comes one day at a time.” My version of that is “Big things are made of little things.” Like the unfathomably small atoms that make up everything in the universe, a great relationship is just a string of days–some incredible, some awful–that when summed up, are miraculous.
The rest is history folks. We did the rings, they placed their vows into a box of champagne that they’d keep closed until their anniversary, and they were pronounced husband and wife in front of family and friends. I did do something I have never done before though. A good year before the wedding, Ashleigh sent me a reel on Instagram showing a couple exiting their ceremony. It was dramatic, in slow motion, with rice being thrown.
I’m not usually one to take direction literally, but I couldn’t help but notice the gorgeous setting and how well it could work. So, before the ceremony, I told Corey to make sure he had a good shot of them immediately after the kiss, and to give me the thumbs up. This gave me the few seconds to stop recording, switch to slow motion on my camera, and start rolling in time for them to start walking out. If you watched the wedding film, you already know that it was a success.
THE RECEPTION
There were many layers to their reception. Like an onion, or an ogre (Shrek ref). It kicked off like most do, with fun entrances from each pair from their wedding party. A beer was shot-gunned, an imaginary chip from the fairway was made with a cane, and some solid dance moves were put on display.
DJ Todd Everett–who I must say is one of the best in the business; I was impressed–introduced A&T and they did not disappoint. Halfway into the reception space, Tony gave Ashleigh a dip for the ages, and they made their way to the dance floor. This is usually where you’d segue right into your first dance, but not these two. With Todd’s help, their inner circle and probably a few other circles flooded the dance floor, surrounding the newlyweds while they all danced. It had hora energy, minus the hora.
Then it was time to cut the cake, and there was another “These are my people” moment. Atop the cake was not a cute miniature version of A&T, nor bobbleheads, nor a photo of a pet or some other item. No, not for these two, who must have secretly schemed to make me adore them as much as possible. Atop their cake were two of my most beloved childhood characters…
ROBIN HOOD & MAID MARIAN
…Robin Hood and Maid Marian from the 1973 Disney adaptation of Robin Hood. Hang on while I go give it five stars on Letterboxd. Ok, done (seriously). If you’re too young to have crossed paths with this film, first: go watch it. Second, it’s important to note that these are cartoon foxes, not people. And I don’t know why I’m admitting this publicly, but I had a crush on Maid Marian. I was like 5, so chill. When I say I loved this movie when I was a kid, I mean it. Before streaming, before Netflix 1.0, there were video stores, and they were glorious. You don’t appreciate the idea of scarcity until you’ve got every movie and album ever made on your phone. Boring.
In these days, home video was so popular that any major grocery store would have a rental area so you could bring home some entertainment on the way out from grabbing a week’s worth of groceries for $50 (the nineties were a legitimately awesome decade). I took advantage of this convenience and had convinced my mom to let me rent Robin Hood several times in a row. Finally, my luck ran out. Two young girls around my age were visibly and audibly distraught that Robin Hood was still unavailable. My mom overheard this, and that was it for my legendary run. I can’t remember if I put up a fight, but I will choose to believe that I was chivalrous and offered it to them willingly. It was not long after this that I became the owner of the Robin Hood VHS tape. Again, watch it. It opens with one of the greatest ear-worms of the 20th century. Dee-dah-dee-dah-dee-dah-doh-doh…
HALO
So, they cut the cake, they ate the cake. It was all very cute, of course. Then, it was time for their formal dance. This wasn’t just any old formal dance. They’d been taking ballroom dancing lessons for a while; likely since they got engaged. They also chose a song I’d never heard anyone use before, but, once again, I found myself thinking “These two have the best taste” and by that I’m really sort of saying “These two have very similar taste to mine” and we all know that’s what we mean when we say that.
They took their positions kitty-corner from one another on the dance floor, and “Halo” by Beyoncé played. I have nothing against her, but I’m not a gigantic fan, and I only know a handful of her songs, but my favorite? Yep, it’s Halo. And now I love it even more, because Ashleigh and Tony did not disappoint. Their dance was flawless, and they moved with elegance and poise, never looking nervous, and always with their eyes locked on one another. As a videographer, I am often, if not usually disappointed by how many people at the reception don’t watch the formal dances, but in this case, all eyes were on A&T.
Once they were done showing off, we settled in for dinner. If you’re thinking this is an unusual order of events, you’re right. It’s not the norm, but A&T do things differently. I can only assume they did this intentionally to break things up and to also get some food for their guests, and while I personally love to get all of the big critical stuff over with so I can finally relax, I always remember that it’s not even remotely about me. Ever.
“Happiness comes one day at a time.”
After dinner came toasts, and they were great. Jan–Tony’s best man–opened things up by throwing on a pair of basketball goggles. It got a reaction out of Tony immediately, and the crowd roared with laughter, so I knew I was in for a good story. I’ll let you watch the wedding film to find out, but the short version is that it’s what Tony was wearing the first time they met.
Next came Nahee, Ashleigh’s Matron of Honor. Her toast was heartfelt, and also fun. Again, I shamelessly want you to watch the wedding film, or you did and already know, but this thing had everything from nude bathhouses to chocolate chip cookies. The stuff of life, really.
Last but certainly not least came Ashleigh’s mom, who captivated and delighted the crowd with a masterful toast full of advice, fun anecdotes from Ashleigh’s childhood, and a line that would go on to put the perfect finishing touch on their wedding film: “Happily ever after comes one…day…at…a time.” Given how funny her toast was, that line–said in earnest and with such gravity–really resonated with me and everyone in the room. She received a well deserved standing ovation.
Somewhere Only We Know
Now at this point, everyone thought toasts were over. WRONG. Ashleigh snuck off to the bridal suite, and initiated her final surprise for her parents: her mom’s dress wasn’t staying on the mannequin. She was going to wear it for the remainder of the evening, including during her dances with her dad and brother.
Once she changed, Penny and I came to the suite to hang out for a bit while Nahee put Ashleigh’s hair up. We yapped a bit, and got more backstory about that bathhouse story she shared in her toast. Then we got some shots of Ashleigh in mom’s wedding dress before we headed back out to capture her entrance, which was sure to elicit a reaction.
Here’s a great example of when a videographer should let a moment breathe, which also means keeping your distance. I knew mom was going to be moved to tears by this final gesture, and I wanted that moment to remain intimate and private, under cover of the loud music. I also wanted to make sure photo got their shots, and that the guests could also see. So, given I was already planning to film the formal dances with my 70-200 (a zoom lens), I went with that for this moment.
Ashleigh rounded the corner into the reception, and her mom was not far, chatting with some guests. It was dark, and they were not in the light of the dance floor, but I could see enough. Her mom looked in disbelief, smiled, and immediately hugged Ashleigh. Fun fact: people almost universally place their head on the right shoulder of the person they’re hugging. Maybe it’s got something to do with right-handedness; I don’t know. But I do know this to be true after filming thousands of spontaneous hugs for nearly a decade. When Ashleigh’s mom rested her head on her shoulder, even on my little camera screen, even in the sea of shadow where this beautiful moment quietly transpired, I could see the unmistakable glint of teary eyes. That’s the good stuff folks.
I’ll Be There
Moments later, Ashleigh’s dad would take her hand, and for the second time in his life, decades apart, he’d dance with a woman he loves, wearing that dress. In her toast, Ashleigh’s mom mentioned raising four kids in a house with one bathroom, but I’m old and wise enough to know that man is as rich as it gets.
Time is a funny thing. We understand it on a fundamental level, because we are at its mercy. As children a day feels the way a month does to us as adults; a year a lifetime. At some point, we realize this shift, and our mortality becomes a reality we think about more and more. Having kids will supercharge that, by the way.
A few years ago, my daughter asked me “What is time?” and I can remember my confidence draining the longer I tried to conjure the words to explain it to anyone, let alone my five year old. In high school I wowed my teacher with a definition that had something to do with events; points in time and the “distance” between them, but I don’t think that’s what time is anymore. I still don’t know exactly how to describe it, but I can explain it with material evidence.
I could tell you that decades ago, an incredible woman carried her son, gave birth to him, and raised him to be an incredible man. I could tell you that her face would start to form wrinkles, and her thoughts wouldn’t be as sharp as they were when that son was a child, and eventually her legs wouldn’t be able to carry her very far or for very long, but on the evening of her son’s wedding, she’d find the strength–both in herself and in the arms of the boy she raised into a kind, creative, intelligent man–to stand up from her wheelchair and dance with him. Tony’s mom, wrapped in her son’s arms, held him tight. I could see the handful of his white jacket in her hand, the shadows from my lights giving it away.
I love the zoom lens for formal dances. With the exception of couples who learn ballroom dancing, most people are relatively stationary, and while it’s good to have a wide shot as a safety or to capture flourishes of movement, the faces are where the magic happens. The laughter, the inaudible conversations, the tears, the pats on the back, and the handfuls of jacket: this–again–is the good stuff. This is life flashing before their eyes, and I think it best to remember it for them the way they too will remember it.
If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have noticed them both singing to each other. “I’ll be there” they’d sing to each other as each of their faces rotated into my view. I’ll be there. I felt the sting of death at a young age, as did my dad when he died at just 28 in a car accident. Somewhere in that mess, I learned–even at 3–that life is fleeting, and that we’re as fragile as we are durable. Before me, in my lens, was a woman so strong, so durable, who’d seen and overcome so much, now in the arms of the same boy who once couldn’t survive without her, now a man, holding her, keeping her safe, while his dad watched proudly.
Remember earlier when I told you about the infomercials? There is still in fact more. Once Tony walked his mom back to her seat, the crowd dried their eyes and started revving up for open dancing. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Ashleigh’s twin brother took the mic from Todd–not forcefully; this was planned–and told us a story. He told us about how he and his sister were soulmates, and how in their teen years, they admittedly drifted apart, but one day, on their way to school, a song came on the radio that would act as a rallying cry for them, that would bring them back together and solidify their relationship forever. It was at this moment that they took their places on the dance floor, much like Ashleigh did with Tony, and Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know” started playing. They’d spend the next few minutes doing a choreographed dance together, bouncing around and laughing like they certainly did in the living room and the backyard. I was still on my zoom, so I didn’t catch the reactions of everyone watching, but I can’t imagine there being a dry eye in the house. With men like her dad and her brother there with her for her entire life, it’s no surprise it took a while for her to find a man who measured up to the exquisite example she had growing up.
IS THAT A CAT
IN THE FOUNTAIN?!
This is the point at a wedding where I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. If you don’t screw up the ceremony, the toasts, or dances, it’s hard to screw up the wedding film. In fact, I’m intentionally “sloppy” with my coverage of the dance floor. I throw a wide angle lens on my camera, hold it with one hand, and I get right out there with everyone. I’ll drag the shutter to make everyone look like blurry little party ghosts, or I’ll crank it to get that frenetic jittery Mad Max look. I also like to bounce the camera up and down with people while they dance. It’s like that TikTok effect but in real life. Sometimes I’ll just hand the camera to someone and let them have fun. There are no rules with dance floor footage. It should be filmed the way it was: buzzed or flat out drunk, tired, sweaty, euphoric.
It’s worth mentioning again that Todd Everett did an exquisite job. He is the most interactive DJ I’ve ever worked with too. He danced with Tony’s mom, and got his dad out there too! On numerous occasions, his booth would be there, a light in a sea of darkness, unmanned like a technicolor ghost ship, but you’d hear him, and then you’d see him in the mix with everyone else, hyping up the crowd or just flat out singing along with the song. The dance floor was packed until they turned the lights on, and even then people had to be reminded that it was time to call it a night, at least there.
I stayed until the very end because they were doing a sparkler send off in front of Alger House and the fountain and the lion statues and the thought of that setting bathed in the orange light of those sparklers sounded amazing. I’d say I hate being right but no, I don’t. It was awesome. The crowd was rowdy, and holding fire. I’ve seen sparkler send offs go poorly, but they can be done right. It just requires strong leadership. Ashleigh and Tony popped out of the front door of Alger and broke into a light run, bathed in equal parts amber light and the cheers of their most loved people.
We walked back over to the venue after that, and floating in the fountain was a single stuffed cat–a handout from Ashleigh as part of an inside joke. In hindsight someone probably set it down to hold the sparkler and it got knocked into the fountain, but it reminded me of the time I threw my Grover stuffed animal in the bathtub as a kid and got in trouble because I was doing it impulsively with everything. The idea of a 4yo me just throwing all of my beloved stuffies into bathtubs and toilets for weeks is hilarious to me. I got a clip of the kitty floating across the fountain because it seemed like such a funny artifact from the day, and several passers by got a chuckle out of it, asking “What the hell is that?!”. So, if you’re wondering what that thing was at the end of the title sequence, it was a cat in the fountain. Wee!
I couldn’t tell you if this is the first of many wedding day blogs, or a unique case. I have felt this way after filming a couple of other weddings, two of which are the same family I’ve come to love dearly, but–that being said–it takes more than just loving my couple, because I genuinely love all of my couples. Really. I’m so damn lucky, and I actually, truly, really believe I’ve got the best clients on earth.
Within every wedding I’ve ever filmed, there is a lesson that forever changes me.
I collect these shiny lessons like a Raven–remember my love for Poe!–and they become a part of me. I say it ad nauseam but I never tire of it:
I am a better dad, a better husband, a better son, and a better friend because of these lessons.
And like a Raven, I do my damndest to bring my couples something shiny back, something that may show them a side of themselves and their people they’d never seen before. A new way to love each other and even themselves.
So, what shiny object did I fly away from A&T’s wedding with? I saw so many beautiful things that day that didn’t even make it into their film. Like when I walked into The War Memorial and Ashleigh’s parents were giving Tony’s dad a hand putting his suspenders on, or during portraits when Ashleigh’s dad rounded the corner pushing Tony’s mom in her wheelchair. It was Nahee doing Ashleigh’s hair in the dim light of the bridal suite, and it was a couple who put a lot of thought into others on their wedding day. The lesson was service.